Strength and Happiness

"The Hurrier I Go, The Behinder I Get. . ." NAN

(quoting someone else)

So, I went running today and it was cold. I had to go, because when I was taking Sammi to school I saw an old man running wearing shorts! Crazy! But he was inspiring - and I love inspiring! So while I was running I thought to myself, "come on girl, you can go faster!" So I tried, and I could, so I did. Only for awhile, because I am pregnant, and I try to be careful and wise with my body. But as I was running I thought about an often quoted quote. "Do not run faster than you have strength. " I kept thinking that, and then I thought, I don't much like that quote. It gives people the excuse not to "run" at all. So, if I were to change it, I would change it to. . .

"Do not run faster than you have strength - but DO RUN!!!"

I kept that thought in my mind as I turkey trotted my way home pushing the stroller. It kept me going and going on my journey. Though, I did not run faster than I had strength, I DID RUN!!! Is that not what we should really do? Endure to the end. . . that is what it is all about. It does not matter at what speed, just that we do it! Whether at a turkey trot, or a sprint, the important thing is that we do it! Whatever "it" may be.

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When I say "run" I am not just referring to physically running, it applies to all things that we must or can do. Sometimes our strength is not as great as other times but we can still press forward. Forward is good, because otherwise you go backward. There is no reason for that.

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I think about Nan and what a good example she is of strength. She may not be able to run marathons but she keeps going - with a smile on her face and strength in her spirit. What a true joy she is. I hope in my aging I may find myself more like her and less selfish like me. I am always trying to improve myself each day. I hope when I am old I will be found with love in my heart and a smile on my face - regardless of what cards I am dealt in life. Nan is such a great example of this strength. I think of her often with admiration and love. I feel very blessed to have her as the mother of my mother.

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I think many people sell themsleves short in life - running about screaming that they have been robbed of happiness that they feel is owed to them. If happiness is what you want - then choose to have it. I believe happiness is (for the most part) a choice. Though the world may creep in about you, casting dark gloomy shadows, we have a source of eternal light - that will never dim! We should do better at looking to God and living. I plan to do better myself. We all struggle, but I believe obstacles can be overcome, weaknesses conquered, and strength found - when we find our strength within ourselves, and with God!

It is only a short time that we are here on the earth. While we are here we are meant to prove ourselves to see if we will choose to be with God again. He wants us to return to Him, just as any loving parent would desire that for their children. Why waste time in sorrow and gloom when so many of us live with such blessings that exceed the wildest dreams of those who have gone before us? We are really so blessed. We live in such an amazing time. I am so grateful to live at this time on the Earth!! I hope I do not disappoint any of my ancestors with the life I have chosen to live. I hope that I can live a life that would not disappoint those who have passed beyond the veil and who I feel often watch over me. I do my best. My best will be good enough for God!!! That is an encouraging thought! HOORAY!

Lots of Love, Mari

Doctors Appointment

Christmas 2003
Summer 2006
How much we all change!

We went to the baby doctor yesterday. I got to take my gestational diabetes test which meant drinking a load of sugar in water. Yum! It was pretty gross. In Alaska I remember they gave me some special orange drink - here it was straight up 4 tbsp of sugar to 8 oz of water. Quite the rush! Anyhow, it all went well. I passed my test and I can continue to eat sugar normally which is good, cause I love sugar. Especially when pregnant.

All was well at the doctor. Everything is looking good and on target. The kids were there too, so they got to hear little Will's heartbeat. They did a very good job being good at the doctors office. I was very happy with them. Anyhow, that was pretty much that.

Last night we had FHE and it was really nice. We had a fire in the fireplace and turned off a lot of the lights and enjoyed a lesson lit by fire. : ) We learned about faith. A lesson we try and teach them about often. Sammi seems to really be grasping the concept, and Daniel in his small wiggly way can offer some pretty good answers. It was a very nice evening. We had a special family prayer together to help us guide our future. It was very nice and peaceful. We are also preparing Daniel for Sunday because he gets to say his first talk in Primary! Fun!

Well, not too much for now. I am just getting myself ready to take on the day. It has been very wintery here this last month and I have decided - I do not like cold and snow! I cannot wait for the Spring. I am praying it will come early this year so I can enjoy the parks with the kids. Also, getting out and walking/jogging can be more pleasant for me and my poor popsicle kids. So for now that is all. Hope the day finds you well and happy!

Growing. . .

Here is my 27 week picture - only 3 more months to go!
Me and the kids before church
Here is one of your shirts Kary - it is one of my favorites for church. I am really starting to feel pregnant now. Little Will kicks SO hard and very often. Sometimes it wakes me up in the night. I feel like a punching bag! I am starting to get excited about the baby's arrival. I really have not thought much about it, just doing my thing. I started thinking about the actual birthing process the other day and I remembered - man that hurts! It is funny how you can forget, and then you are willing to go through it again and again. I do love the baby part though, and the kiddos too. They bring such joy and learning with them. I am grateful that Sam and Dan are both well potty trained, and they can entertain themselves pretty well without getting into too much trouble. That will be very helpful to me when I need to rest a bit after the baby is born. I am hoping, and planning (as much as I can) to bounce back quickly this time. I know what to expect and I think as time goes on pain becomes something you better learn to deal with. I also know their are others who need me and need my care - I have to be there for them. So I will. I just pray that all goes well and that there are not any complications. So far things are good. I do have an appointment today so I will post the low-down on that later! Peace!

Things do work out. . . eventually!

The day after at Disneyland - what joy!
My favorite picture of the kids at the car lot. It seemed very desperate at the time - we were stuck!!
Dinner at Disneyland - YUM!

Charles singing "it's a world of laughter a world of cheer, it's a world of sorrow, a world of fear..."Charles crying over the situation with the lemon car

The pictures got a little out of order so let me explain. . .

When we were first beginning our journey down to school here we had to find a car. Since we knew no one where we were going we had to make a choice, and so we bought a car on e-bay (never do that)! Anyhow, we got to California to pick up the car which we were going to drive back to Washington. When we got in the car we had bought, we noticed right away a few things were wrong. The radio did not work, the air did not work, nothing was working right. We had driven almost all the way to Disneyland when we noticed the tires were spliting! Yikes! We were driving through Los Angeles on spilt tires - no good! We were so tired from flying all night from Alaska. We were trying to make decisions. We stopped in a parking lot and said a prayer begging for help. We were in Califonira, we had a long way to go, and from where we were at the moment we seemed very trapped. We decided to take the car back to the dealer and Charles would try his hand at negotiating. Luckily, he knew what to do. To make a long story shorter, the car people were very quick to find us a different car of a greater value and tried to make us happy and satisifed. They knew that they could have been in big trouble. We were promised that all was great with the original car we purchased - it was a lemon and they were responsible! Anyhow, from the deal we received a better car for a better price. It all worked out! We were not trapped!

The next day after that experience we were all set for Disneyland. What a relief it was after such a horrid experience the day before. The kids loved it, we loved it and we had a very good time there. It was that much greater having overcome a huge obstacle the day before. Disneyland times come - they really do! How much sweeter are those joyus times when huge obstacles have been overcome.

After the car situation, we experienced a similiar experience with our apartment we had rented out, also on-line. We arrived at 1am to our "home" to find cat food and hair all over, and an apartment that was in a scary and nasty part of town. We had no way of knowing. It was recommended by the school and everything. So again in desperation we prayed for help, we knew we could not stay there. We had to stay there that night though, we slept on the nasty floor in a pile of clothes we had with us, since we had nothing with us but our luggage. The kids were along for the ride. Luckily, they were young enough to not be damaged by the experience. The next day we went to church. We walked into the closest church building but we did not feel right being there. So we left and drove to look for another one. Daniel had poop in his diaper, which was his last. It being Sunday we did not want to go to the store if we did not have to. So, we wanted to find a church building and we did, up on the hill. We walked inside and it felt better, different. We found tons of people in the hallway most of them were students like us. They offered tons of diapers - just the right size. Then a kind family invited us over for dinner that night to help us find our way through the city. We also drove around the area looking for "for rent" signs. We found one, called the next morning and we were in our little house the next day. After experiencing they nasty apartment the little house was such a relief. Once again, we were provided for in a sticky situation, things worked out better than what we could have imagined or planned for. Thank goodness!!

I have been shocked often at how things in life work out. Not the way you plan. Usually, never the way you plan them to work out - but they do. We do our part to make everything happen and Heavenly Father, in his wisdom, can change our seemingly bad choices into better situations. I am so grateful for that.

Another more recent example. Charles was hit by an old lady in his truck. Very little damage was done to his truck. At the time, on his birthday, it was so lame and an inconvience. After "dealing" with the insurance and the lady that hit him, they had an appraiser come to evaluate the damage on his truck. He was sent a check for $1000.00! Yet, he does not need to repair his truck because nothing is really wrong, just srcatched a bit. From a moment that seemed so sad, and lame, and purposeless - to a moment of joy and excitement and an answer to prayer! Heavenly Father has a way of providing a way. We have to do our part, everything we can, and I believe He will provide a way. Though it may not seem clear at the time or even a complete disaster. Joy can come even from a car accident. The way Charles found his current job was by getting a speeding ticket. If had not received that ticket and gone down to talk to our friend Joe at traffic court, he would not have the job he has today!! You just never know how lemons can be turned into lemonade!

I believe you must have hope for the future. Hope that things that happen, good or bad, serve a greater purpose than what we can see today. For example, I spent months on crutches as a young person to repair a broken leg. In the meantime, while dealing with much pain and frustration, I was developing something I was not aware of - muscles in my arms! Through my pain and trial I was building great strength - that I believe has stayed with me to this day, and has served me very well over the years. Often, it is through our pain and trials that we find our true strength. I believe there is a place deep within each of us that has the ability to pull ourselves up when we are down. That we can find strength even when we are weary and weak.

I went running the other day and it did not feel very good. I was going too fast, my gut was too full - it was just no good. I even told Charles that night I thought I was through running for now. When I said that, I felt awful. I did not like it. So the next day I went out again, planning to walk and then something from within said - just do it!! So, slowly I lifted my feet and knees and began a very slow jog (I call it turkey-trotting). It felt ok, so I kept going, and going, and before I knew it I had finished my normal route jogging the whole way. I did it! I just had to focus, really focus. One foot in front of the other. I kept telling myself, I have run a half marathon, I have given birth, I am strong, I am a runner, I can do it! I went again yesterday, and I was just fine. I will not give up running until I fall on my face. If I fall, I will get back up and drag myself. Why? Because I CAN!!!!

Remember - Do not let the strength of the wood distract you from the strength of your spirit!!! Also, don't forget to yell really loud when you are breaking the wood - it really helps!!

Keeeee -Yaaaaahhhhh!!!

Love, Me

Charles Continued. . .

These pictures are meant to go along with the post below. . . : )

I Love Charles!

I wanted to show some pictures of Charles and express how much I love him!

I have come to be amazed by him and who he is. He has overcome a less than ideal past (to say the least) and has changed his life in everyway possible. He has surpassed any expectations I may have had and has astonished me in his ability to overcome any obstacles he may face. I have not ever met anyone like him. He is unique and I love him for it. I am so grateful I found him out of the billions of people in the world. I feel such love for him that cannot be expressed in words. I have so loved being married to someone who joined the church later in life. It has added such a great perspective on life that I do not think I would have found without him. He is my favorite person, I would choose his love, his company, over anyone in the world. I love to be with him. My favorite sound is when I hear a blue rusty truck pull up in the parking lot because it means, he is home! How I live for the moments we are together. How I love him!

I have known him now for 8 years! Before that our paths had crossed numerous times while living in Alaska. We were both at the same youth conference. He used to live just down the street from our house. Best of all, the people who used to live in our house in Alaska babysat Charles as a young child. When he first walked into our home he said, "Wow, it feels so good here, very familiar." After awhile we found out he was babysat by the Merrits who used to live in our home before we did - weird!

Anyway, when I met Charles he was actually dating someone else. We sat in the same institute room for a whole semester and never noticed each other. Looking back now, that seems so weird. There were only about 10 other people in the class! One day at the end of the semester we both were assigned to teach our lessons on the same day. Long story short, we noticed each other, and from there we started dating then the rest is history!

I never knew I could love someone as much as I love Charles. I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about him. I have always felt that way about him. Mom told me, "he is not the one". I always tried to listen to my mama, but in this case I knew he was "the one". I think she may feel differently about Charles now. : ) I have always known he was "the one". I could see in his eyes what I wanted to see for forever. When I saw the picture up above of him as a young man I said to myself, "I want his children!" I thought that was the best looking boy I had ever seen! I still do. I have not been disappointed in my wish either. His children are as beautiful as I hoped they would be.

I know this all sounds sappy and mushy - that is how I feel about Charles. It is amazing how love can grow over time. From uncertainty to stability. From young love to the love of family and children. I plan to increase this love with each passing day, year, eternity, forever and ever!!

I LOVE CHARLES!!!

Family Fun

Here are some pictures of the kids doing their practice tricks for the circus. It is always fun to see what they can do. This was right after our FHE lesson on Faith, which went well. It is so amazing what children except on faith. They also accept what their parents teach them and believe it is true (until they grow up and start questioning). So I figure I better do my best now to teach them how to have faith so they can feel it and understand when they grow up. I love to watch them learn and explain back to me their understanding of gospel principles. It is true joy.

Love, Me

just testing to see if it is working

The Snow Day!

Sammi cheesed about the snowDaniel after falling on his face
Charles pulling Daniel up the hill
The kiddos saying Hello!
Daniel enjoying the snow
Here are some pictures of our day in the snow. It is the most snow we have seen here! Charles woke up this morning and was determined to go sledding - so we did. You know, I just adore sledding. Well, ok, not so much. But I knew the kids would really love it and we found a great and very safe hill. The last time I was on a sled I spent 4 months on crutches and had major surgery, I am still unsure about getting back on the horse. Today there was no way to test my fear though - not pregnant. My doctor would not have been happy with me! The experience was very different from the sledding I remember in Alaska though. It was nice and fluffy snow on a lovely hill. I remember at my elementary school there was always blood covering our sledding hill because it was usually pure ice and big bumps. Yuck and Ouch!

Anyhow, the kids LOVED it and so did Charles and it was a good show for me. To stay warm I would walk up and down the hill - it worked pretty good. It was a great workout for the kids too. By the time we were through eveyone had to go potty and we were all frozen, but it was lots of fun. It was a fun filled day today, but I am hoping the snow will not last too long. I am ready for Spring and flowers and the color green - my favorite!

Love, me

Sledding Day!

Walking up the hill

Snowy Sam
Blazing the trail
Ready, Set, Go!!!

26 week gut growth

Now - 26 weeks
Then - no weeks?

let the growing begin!!!

Beppy with a giant frosty friend in Alaska
The kiddos showing their toys from Christmas
Sammi ready for school
The crib that someone from Charles work gave us - including the bedding (I put it together all by myself!)
Sammi and her Doll house that Santa brought her (mama likes to play with it too) You can change the furniture around without hurting your back!

Pictures for Kary

Smile Sammi
Daniel was not as perky as Sam as a baby
Sammi dressed for Halloween
Angel Sammi
Danny Boy
Here are some pictures of the kiddos when they were little tiny ones. I could not figure out the exact age of them but I would guess around 3-4 months. I was not blessed with a digital camera back then so I had to take pictures of pictures. William will be much more photographed I am sure. Oh, how I love digital cameras - what a beautiful thing. I sure do not have as many pictures of them as I thought I did! Enjoy!

Love, Me

Stephen SONshine

These photos were taken right after he ate and laid down in his crib to watch his Winnie the Pooh music mobile. He is so playful in the mornings (as long as he's eaten first.) Thank goodness for music and Winnie the Pooh. Babies are so pure. Their smiles are so joyous. We must become like little children.

love ya! Kary