Clot

Blood clots are no fun.

I mentioned that baby number 4 might have to be our last. Well, the reason is: my health. Back in the day (8 years ago), I was pregnant with our second child, Daniel. During that pregnancy, I had the unfortunate side-effect of acquiring varicose veins on my lower legs. (If you were wondering why I never wear shorts, well, that is why!) The veins did NOT go away after giving birth, darn it.

My doctor informed me -- all those years ago -- that they would likely get worse with each pregnancy.

He was right.

When I was pregnant with our third child, William, I was in super-health. I felt fantastic and I was a healthy weight. But within the first month of pregnancy, and no weight gain -- new veins appeared! I was so upset, I thought it was the extra weight and pressure of baby-gut, but no . . . it was the HORMONES. The veins flared up throughout the 9 months of pregnancy and despite my great efforts to run and be healthy my additional veins were there to stay.

Within the first 2 months of this pregnancy, and because of my bodies response to pregnancy hormones -- I have obtained a clot in one of my veins. (Never had one before.) It is right above my left knee, over a fairly bothersome vein.

I went to the doctor immediately, because I know clots are never a good sign. After an examination, he determined it should not be too serious. My clot is on a superficial vein (a vein near the surface) and it is not at risk of traveling to the deep veins -- which can be a SERIOUS problem. I have been back to the doctor, twice, for him to keep an eye on it. For now, it seems to be OK. It should not pose a serious threat to my health. Let's hope, eh?

During this pregnancy I have to take very good care of my legs.

These are my rules:

• I have to wear compression stockings through pregnancy (FUN!) I am ordering them today. I HATE them, but they are supposed to help circulation. (I had some last pregnancy, too, but I was not super diligent in wearing them daily.) I HAVE to this time.
• It is super to keep running/walking daily -- the more circulation stimulated, the better
• I cannot sit or stand for more than an hour at a time, and I need to elevate my legs as often as possible
• I have to take 1 baby aspirin a day until the clot goes away (it may take months). I hate taking medicine. It scares me. But I am following doctors orders.
• I need to keep an eye on my clot and make sure it does not grow, so far, so good.

Sometimes, it hurts. The clot can feel like a rope is tied around my leg cutting off my circulation, and then it feels like someone is gliding a lit match against my leg -- it BURNS. I just woke-up a few weeks ago, and the clot and burning was there. It has been my enemy ever since.

I HAVE been running consistently (4-5 days a week) for the last 2 months and I feel fine. My focus this pregnancy is my leg health -- obviously, it HAS to be! Sometimes when I am out running, I just think that each step I take is helping me. I remind myself that each step is providing the circulation that I need to strengthen my legs and my veins. It is not just about getting in shape and looking good, it is about my insides, my inner health. I HAVE to do it. Running/walking/biking are some of the best options for me.

My thoughts are consumed with good circulation -- something I never really considered before. Ahhhh . . . pregnancy. It is a great time to learn lessons of sacrifice and giving of yourself for others, literally. Good thing the babies are worth it. :-) Sacrificing your body/health for someone else can be a really difficult thing. No doubt.

I am off to order my compression stockings (basically hard-core tights that squeeze your legs to stimulate circulation) . . . I cannot wait to wear those nasty things again! Yee-Ha! At least they come in normal colors now. They were in weird suntan colors before. Now they come in white, black, etc. Black is my friend. Yes, I think I will get black. :-)

So, this is why number 4 baby may be our last. I honestly live with a bit of fear everyday -- I have a CLOT on my leg! YIKES! I am just not sure what would happen if I got pregnant again. My veins have absolutely gotten worse with each pregnancy. I am not sure if I can risk it another time. It was a fear of mine going into it this time. Looks like my fears were legit.

When I am through with babies, they do have procedures that remove/strip the veins and I will look into it more seriously when the time comes. In the meantime . . . shorts are NOT my friends. I am sorry you will never have the privilege of seeing my legs. ;-) wink!

One day . . . one day . . . I will be whole again.

For now I await the arrival of my compression tights, oh boy!