Trek Location

We went to our first Ma and Pa Trek meeting, it was great. Now I am excited and nervous! I will write more about it later, but I think I may create a separate Trek blog -- so I can document everything from beginning to end. We find out who our new children are this Wednesday at family sorting night! We have to be dressed in our pioneer clothes and everything! Can't wait! Right now I have about as much fear and excitement inside of me as I felt before giving birth! I hope I can keep my new children alive and I hope they like me!

The base-camp location up near Ontario, Oregon

We will be tent-camping (thank goodness!). They were considering going tent-less! No way!

We will travel to and from our base-camp each day

Here is the kind of terrain we will be crossing . . . notice the shade. It will likely be 100 degrees. 11 miles a day. It will be mostly uphill. Pulling handcarts. Through the rocks. Sounds fun, eh? Reality is sinking in . . . I am going to burn. Hopefully, if all goes well -- I will not die.

The youth I have talked to are scared. They should be...

Full or Empty?

So . . . what is it? Hmmmm? What do YOU see?

Well, in my opinion it is . . . BOTH.

I suppose I fancy myself a "realist".

I feel as though I see things as they really are.

Obviously, the glass is both half-full AND half-empty!

This is not to say that I don't wish that I were something else entirely, like, perhaps . . . an optimist, with a half-full glass. But, for some reason that is not my "natural" inclination. For me I see both the beauty of the rose and the sharpness of it's thorns. I see the beneficial bee and it's pain-inflicting stinger. I see the glorious, glowing sun and the sun-blocking clouds.

I see the whole picture -- what is really there. The beauty and the danger.

Good and bad.

Reality.

It is not a BAD thing, to be "realistic". But it lends itself to equal amounts of joy and worry, pleasure and pain, faith and fear. (I cannot have both faith and fear at the same time, by the way.) Therefore, I sometimes feel like a "lukewarm" person . . . having experiences somewhere between floating on the top of the water and hovering at the bottom of the empty space -- in the water-glass of life.

Does that make me a happy-sad person, or a sad-happy person? Am I a positive-negative person, or a negative-positive person?

Or somewhere exactly in the middle?

Am I a line dweller?

This thought came to my attention the other day when I was running, alone -- during my ten mile run. It was cold. It was hailing. It was miserable. I even felt sad and discouraged. My thoughts were far from positive and everything around me was wearing me down, mentally, which turned into physically.

Voices in my head told me I could not do it. I should stop. I should quit. I should not try. The voices were loud. Shouting at me. I cried. Whose voice was I hearing? Mine? A voice from the past? Who? (I know who.) I wondered where my positive attitude was? Where were my, "I can do it!" thoughts when I needed them?

And then I wondered: What is in my head?

Do I have a positive attitude . . . ? I mean, really? What are the voices in my head telling me? Am I allowing myself to BELIEVE, or just to SEE REALITY?

Is being a realist my greatest stumbling block?

During the course of a day I probably have an equal amount of negative and positive thoughts. (Though I dare say, somedays there are WAY more negative!) Seriously, I have the little angel-devil battle on my shoulder -- sometimes relentlessly!

It can really drive me NUTS!

Mind-battling can be painful!

What do I do?

So, the other day I watched this show about a marathon champion and I found her attitude was amazing. She was SO positive. Even when she was injured, she pushed through it, stayed positive, and as a result she healed and won the marathon. Amazing. She had incredible power over her mind! Smiling, happy, regardless of what happened to her. She BELIEVED in herself. She was fantastic! A real winner.

What about me? What about my "realist" thoughts? Is being realistic going to help me finish my goals? Is being realistic going to help me have a beautiful life? Is being realistic going to help me enjoy to the end? To believe . . .

My final conclusion . . .

NO!

The only way to have a beautiful life, full of accomplishment, and enjoying to the end is to:

BE POSITIVE!

Somehow I have to find a way to change my mind! I have to teach myself to have positive thoughts. (Positive thinking blog coming soon!)

I have to see the rose -- know that the thorns are there -- but throughly

enjoy the beauty of it, anyway!

I have to push away the "clouds" (such as; the headline news, the economic climate, the distractions of life) and turn my thoughts to the "sun" -- even the very Son of God, my Savior.

I need to TRUST Him more completely.

I need to put myself in His hands.

I need to allow Him to fill my "empty space" (not the depressing news of the world!) so that my glass will be . . .

COMPLETELY FULL.

I know it is possible. It is not easy to do . . . (fighting the natural man) but so very worth it!

I am doing my best to change (at least subdue!) my natural inclination to be a realist. I do not want to die and have people say at my funeral,

"She was such a realistic person."

No, that will not do!

It is up to me to change my mind and change my life as a result. Attitude is everything.

POSITIVE ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING!

So, I am off to change my "channel" and tune myself out of "the world" and into

the Spirit of God.

In the Heavens there is only LIGHT (not darkness). "Realism" has no place there . . .

only optimism!

Let there be LIGHT!

Here is to a FULL glass! Cheers! :-)

Go the Distance: 26.2

This picture was taken at the last Heart Run that I participated in, in Anchorage, Alaska.

It was only 3 miles.

Now, I am aiming a little higher (just a little) . . . 26.2 to be exact.

May 14, 2011

I am terrified. I am not ready. I am scared. Horrified. Nervous.

And yet, I BELIEVE I can do it! (On a good day!)

I sure HOPE I can do it! (On a bad day, and I have those bad days!)

I am TRAINING to do it.

(Faith without works is dead, after all!)

http://www.halhigdon.com/marathon

So, I was lying in bed last night -- thinking over my life -- and reasons why . . .

I am a strong, beautiful woman . . . capable of accomplishing hard things.

(Did I just say that about myself?)

Wow! That is an accomplishment in itself!

Anyhow, I started to form a list of some things I have been through that have made me "strong", and also other things where I have used strength, even physical/mental strength. (The list is below.) But first, another explanation, just so you can get to know me even better. . . :-)

You see, I have ALWAYS been known as "The Strong Girl". Some of my nicknames included, "Her Buff-ness" and "Super-woman".

Age 12

I have even been called, a "Thug". (Used as a term of endearment, by friends I would "protect".)

Here I am offering my protection to my friend, Emily.

Now . . . that is all glorious and everything (being big and strong), but when you are a "thug" dreaming of being a lovely little ballerina -- it presents a problem! It did not help that growing up my best-friend WAS actually a ballerina! (Emily, the girl I protected.)

Yes, it is true. I have always wondered what it must feel like to be a wisp of a thing, prancing around effortlessly, gracefully -- like a ballerina-princess. I have always wondered what it might be like to glide, to float, to flit. Rather than strength-strutting, trudging, with bullish effort. (I do try to contain myself so it may not appear quite so overly-aggressive!)

I am like a lion who wants to be a gazelle, an eagle who would like to be a dove. You get the idea . . . something big and strong that would like to be something . . . small and graceful.

Well, rather than dreaming of something I will NEVER be . . .

(Which is as ridiculous as an eagle dreaming of being a dove!)

I am trying to come to terms with being the strong woman that I am.

I want to CLAIM it.

I want to feel a sense of joy when I think of being who I REALLY am . . .

I am STRONG. I am a LION. Hear me ROAR!

Are not the lion and the gazelle, the eagle and the dove, all beautiful?? You're right, they are! Just like people.

Being strong is in my blood, you see. Kind of like Harry Potter being a great "seeker" . . . because it is part of who he is, part of his "family history", as it were. Well, in my blood runs: strength. I dare say, if you lined up both sides of my family (The Lindquists and the Posts), we would win ANY tug of war competition!! ;-)

My Grandpa Post loved to box and was pretty darn good at it, too

My Grandpa Lindquist was an extraordinarily big and strong man

And because of my ancestors I have become ME. There are no ballerinas amongst my family members. Just a bunch of big, strong people.

I am full of inner (and outer) strength because of who I come from. My people helped settle Zion; they were farmers, and builders, and people of faith. I am strong because of them. I should be happy about that! Right? RIGHT!

My body sometimes feels like it could burst with power.

Not speed, but strength.

My people are strong.

I am strong. I am strong. I am strong.

(I will be chanting that as I run!)

So, though I may never be "graceful" I can be GRATEFUL for my gift of strength. It is a gift I may find comes in handy in the near future.

You need a handcart pulled . . . I am your woman!

So what does this have to do with running a marathon?? EVERYTHING! When I think of "runners" I think of small, agile, beings that carry less than an ounce of "extra" on their bodies. As for me (a Lion) I have plenty of "extra". Lions are really more known for their quick bursts of speed to get their food, and then they sleep all day! So, somehow, this Lion has got to pace herself to endure to the end! I have to use my inner and outer strength to carry me 26.2 miles.

I can do it.

So here are 26.2 reasons why I AM strong enough to "go the distance":

I will be thinking of them each time I pass a mile marker.

(I was considering 26.2 swear words . . . but I am trying to be positive! ) ;-) Wink!

1. I have done 50 push-ups, on my knuckles, on a gym floor

2. I have broken a board with my hand

3. I have broken a board with my foot

4. I have won side-kick balancing competitions in Tae-Kwon-Do

5. I have put numerous boys in head-locks (and they could not get out, until I let go!)

6. I won numerous arm-wrestling competitions -- against boys

7. I spent months on crutches after breaking my growth plate (hence the strength in my arms)

8. I had to learn to walk again (Ouch!)

9. I had a mouth expander, in junior high, that had to be cranked with a key everyday (PAIN!)

10. I have run 13.5 miles pushing the double jogger stroller

11. I have run 7 months pregnant, pushing the double stroller

12. I have run in snow and ice

13. I have run in thunder and lightning

14. I have run in bitter cold

15. I have run in burning heat

16. I have performed solos in front of hundreds of people (Yes, that takes strength, too!)

17. I endured law school with Charles (talk about needing to be strong!)

18. I have given birth three times (induced every time)

19. I have given birth, being induced, without an epidural (Talk about FIRE!)

20. I have managed an apartment building full of druggies/scary people -- evicted them ALL. (Moved in the Mormons and created the "Mormon Mansion"!)

21. I have bumped a volleyball in the air (consecutively) 100+ times to make varsity

22. I have "tied" arm-wrestling with my sis-in-law, Mindy. (A champion basketball player.) She claimed she was not at top-game, but nor was I! ;-) wink!

23. I have had surgery, including pins put in my growth plate (on my ankle).

24. I lived through a violent car-crash (when I was 4). I walked away from it, the only one unharmed (Everyone else had glass stuck in their bodies/broken bones).

25. Sprained my ankle when a large Samoan guy named "Chief" landed on top of me, during a Volleyball game

26. I am a woman (Cramps, people! That takes strength!)

.2. I am a MOTHER (Nothing requires more strength than that!)

26.2 . . . a piece of cake. This lioness is all over that wimpy number.

Because I am a STRONG woman!!! Strength flows through my veins: Not weakness.

My name is Maridyth van Ormer. I am a strong and beautiful woman.

I can accomplish hard things.

26.2 hard things . . . to be exact.

LOVE

Because of this . . .

(My mom and dad dancing passionately, before they were married)

There is this . . .

(Not everyone is pictured!)

Never underestimate the power of LOVE! (And dancing!) ;-) wink!

Love grows and grows . . .

FLYING

Do you ever have "flying" dreams?

I do.

To make dreams a reality . . .

I run. To RUN is to FLY!

Running is a means of terrestrial locomotion allowing a human or an animal to move rapidly on foot. It is simply defined in athletics terms as a gait in which at regular points during the running cycle . . .

both feet are off the ground.

running is flying!

I believe I can fly

I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away

I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!!!!!!

You CAN fly and not just in your dreams!

Spread those wings . . .

And RUN!

Pride vs. Charity

How many of us have felt just like the little girl in the picture? You look at an image of someone else, maybe in a magazine, a movie, or even an image you create in your head of someone you know . . . you then examine the reflection in the mirror and pick every detail of yourself to pieces and (of course) you find yourself coming up utterly short? I dare say we ALL have done this on occasion, or perhaps daily! Why? Why do we insist upon this ridiculous torture-routine? It is a very pointless and selfish thing to do.

We SHOULD NOT do it!

It is said that, "The grass is always greener on the other side." Or . . . your neighbors are always happier, your friends are always prettier, your lot in life is tough and everyone else has it better than you.

This topic came to my attention when my daughter, Sammi, came home one day and she declared that she wanted to get glasses. (At this point, Sammi has clear eye sight, and has no need of them.) One night, I even found her reading with her daddy's glasses on. Why did her little-girl heart desire glasses so much? Well, apparently, "ALL" of her friends are getting glasses. So, therefore, of course she wants them too! Naturally, we had a special conversation with her about cliffs and friends and cows and green grass. Little does Sammi realize she is very lucky not to NEED glasses! I know many people who would go under the laser just to be able to see as clearly as she can, right now. How silly to desire fuzzy eye-sight, just to fit in. I wonder if all her friends broke a leg, would she want crutches, too?

Now, I am not picking on Sammi in anyway. She is a wonderful girl, just lovely. But her thought process brought to my mind the ridiculousness of envy, jealousy and setting our hearts on the things we "think" we want. Sometimes our hearts will grab hold of an idea, or desire, and it seems we cannot let that silly "want" go. It can fester and grow and gnaw at our contentment and peace of mind.

It is because of these simple "wants" and desires that we now sit in an economic "recession". (As an optimist, I am hoping that things are starting to improve!) But it has been the "keeping up with the Jones's" and fulfilling the void of "I want it now" that has caused serious trouble and pain for so much of the nation and the world. People cannot seem to find contentment outside of the department store or just acquiring MORE. It seems that the same feelings of a 4th grader, "I want it, because my friends have it" stays firmly planted in the hearts of grown "adults". Hence our current economic situation . . .

What is the great cause of all of this nonsense? PRIDE!!

Pride is a powerful poison to the the soul. It can destroy every good thing. Pride has been the cause of every war, every destroyed civilization, and every ruined individual. It starts small. It starts with: being selfish.

Me, me, me. Mine, mine, mine. Now, now, now.

Elder Uchtdorf stated:

Pride is a deadly cancer. It is a gateway sin that leads to a host of other human weaknesses. In fact, it could be said that every other sin is, in essence, a manifestation of pride.

"For others, pride turns to envy: they look bitterly at those who have better positions, more talents, or greater possessions than they do. They seek to hurt, diminish, and tear down others in a misguided and unworthy attempt at self-elevation. When those they envy stumble or suffer, they secretly cheer. (You never do that, do you?) wink!

This sin has many faces. It leads some to revel in their own perceived self-worth, accomplishments, talents, wealth, or position. They count these blessings as evidence of being “chosen,” “superior,” or “more righteous” than others. This is the sin of “Thank God I am more special than you.” At its core is the desire to be admired or envied. It is the sin of self-glorification."

He goes on to describe how we SHOULD act:

"Some suppose that humility is about beating ourselves up. Humility does not mean convincing ourselves that we are worthless, meaningless, or of little value. Nor does it mean denying or withholding the talents God has given us. We don’t discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves. It comes as we go about our work with an attitude of serving God and our fellowman."

DON'T think less of you, but think less ABOUT you!

President Gordon B. Hinckley points out another way we can learn to overcome feelings of envy. “The happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others,” he says.

.

One of my FAVORITE quotes was said to Sister Susan Tanner (who struggled with acne as a teenager) by her mother:

“You must do everything you can to make your appearance pleasing, but the minute you walk out the door, forget yourself and start concentrating on others.”

Considering the alternative . . .

I think it is the BEST advice. Forget yourself, and start thinking about others!

LET GO of selfishness and pride and fill your heart with the Love of God.

You may not be able to change your current circumstances, but you can ALWAYS change your mind. It is your thoughts that determine how you perceive your environment. Take it from me . . . I could whine about having only one bathroom for 5 people OR I can be grateful that I do not have to go potty outside! ;-)

Let your heart be light.

Cease wasting precious time envying the lives of others, or being disgruntled with what you do not have. Whether it is their glasses, their home, their looks -- forget it! Enjoy being YOU (because that is the only person you will ever be!) and do your best to LOVE and SERVE God's children!

(This message was meant for me. But perhaps it tugged at some heart-strings? Maybe I am not alone in my struggle to be less prideful and more charitable!)

Painfully Released

I love my Laurels!!!!!

They will always be MINE!!!!

(Not all are pictured!)

A few weeks ago, I was abruptly released from my most favorite and most glorious calling: The YW Laurel Advisor. I adored my girls. I LOVED my calling to teach them each Sunday. It was Heavenly, truly. The girls were the sweetest girls I have ever known. So kind, so beautiful. I just loved being with them each week. I was VERY comfortable in my calling, it was natural and joyous. SO . . . I suppose that is when it is time -- to go. *sniff*

The future is in superb hands!

I had never had such let-down from a release before. I was almost upset (OK, I WAS upset!) Not at anyone, just upset at my loss! It is the PERFECT calling! My girls were the most lovely of girls! (I could just say that over and over!)

Right now, I am in limbo. It is so weird?! I have never been calling-less before (outside of first moving into a ward). I feel . . . strange.

I went to Relief Society yesterday -- the first time in a LONG time. It is SO different from Young Womens. Instead of bright, vibrant, colors and youthful excitement and energy . . . it was full of silver and gray and (to put it gently) . . . quiet maturity. It was a very interesting contrast. All lovely daughters of God, of course! However, when you are with the youth, you feel young. When you are with the mature ladies, you feel . . . mature. :-) Not that that is a bad thing . . . being mature, that is.

Perhaps that is why my mother always professed her love of teenagers and now my parents are on their second mission serving youth! It makes them feel YOUNG! (Just had an AH-HA moment.)

So . . . I await the next request for my services. What shall it be, where shall I go?? The weird thing is I have NO idea. Normally, I have some feelings, inklings, idea of possibilities. This time: nothing. I have done most callings outside of Relief Society (YW's, Primary, Sunday School, Nursery, etc.) but who knows? (In the meantime, I have been subbing in Primary.)

I know whatever I am called to do . . . I will do it. Even if it is . . . (no I am not going to say -- that jinxes it!) ;-) wink!

Just looking at these pictures is causing me pain (and joy)! *sniff* and *grin*

I will miss my lovely laurels!!!! You are the BEST!!!!!

I LOVE YOU!