10 years

December 4th, 1999 I married my very best friend, Charles. . . 

I kept a journal, (before blogs), and long ago I printed off some of the e-mails I was sending to my friend (Melinda), back in 1999, with some great insight. Here is an excerpt: Too funny! 

April 23, 1999

Hi there Mo, 

I thought I would drop you a line before I go off  to the dance! I am really excited. Last night I spent 3 and a half hours talking to this awesome guy on the phone. I think I told you a little about him, his name is Charles. Well, I called him and he called me back (at 10 p.m.) and we talked until 1:30 a.m.! It was OK, but the next morning (today) I had to go and teach seminary at 6 a.m. Boy was I tired, but it was worth it! We talked about everything, from the birds to the bees . . . it was SO crazy we were talking about how "our" future would be. He said once . . . " When WE have OUR kids" then he corrected himself, but I was laughing in my head. How crazy?! I know that talking on the phone really late at night, I usually get weird, but I felt totally calm and comfortable talking with him about EVERYTHING! It was fun to do that again, it has been a long time. Tonight there is a dance and I am going to go get ready here real soon, Charles will be there, so I am excited to see him and get to know him even better! . . . 

That "dance" we went to -- was pure magic. I can remember very clearly (not the details of the event) but feelings, that I had during our first dance. Everything else, everyone else . . . obsolete. I do not even remember the song, but I know it was one of the famous Singles Ward slow dance songs (Lady in Red, I Swear, Unchained Melody, etc.) I do remember, very well, the first time we touched . . . Charles took my hand and placed it in his, it was very warm, and strong (I was not interested in guys with girly hands -- I had beat too many of them arm-wrestling). Gently, he pulled me close to him, and like 2 pieces of a puzzle -- our curves fit together, perfectly. I had found him. Bella (speaking of Edward) talks about feeling like a "live wire". Well, it was something like that . . . but it was more like there was some sort of overwhelming magnetic force that was pushing us together. All those years I had heard the cliché line, "You'll just know". Well, unexpectedly, yes, I did . . . just know. No beam came shooting down from heaven, no lightning bolt zapped my brain . . . but I knew I had found my love. We fit, completely. We were meant to be together . . . I am certain of that. 

Another funny e-mail written to Melinda (just an excerpt): Hilarious! (at least to me!)

May 8th, 1999

Well I must go, my Charles will be here soon. I promise to be really good! No kissing for me! It is funny the "desire" is there, but not really . . . it is like a locked-up passion that doesn't want to come out right now. People say, and have been telling me, you HAVE to kiss to know if it "works" but I KNOW it would be just fine. I have NO doubt! :-) It was weird because my mom told me that? After you get to know someone really well . . . it is good to kiss to see if it works? How weird? I don't want to kiss Charles . . . I feel like right now that is not the best thing, but in the future it will be very good. :-) We are practicing self-control and doing very well, thank you! We do snuggle, hold hands, sit close, etc. . . . but no uncontrollable passion-psycho feelings and going crazy stuff. I guess I am kind of a romantic and I want things to be special. I know I like kissing (he, he), I have kissed a few many boys and I don't want to go that direction again. I just have the best time being with him, we do fun things and we talk about good things and educate each other. It is so good, so fun. I really like him so much. 

Charles and I had made a bargain. We were not going to kiss . . . ever. Just kidding. We did, however, make a deal that we would wait to kiss, and not get distracted by the "physical" part of the relationship. Why talk when you can smooch, right? Well, we wanted to talk . . . we wanted to get to know each other, first, before drifting off to la-la land. All of that smoochy- stuff can really get in the way of forming a solid friendship. We were friends . . . in the most passionate, body-distant, non-touching way, possible! That magnetic force was intensely strong and hard to resist! Not kissing made being together just that much more exciting! Kind of like knowing your going to Disneyland . . . but your not there, yet. Exciting! Or like now . . . trying to get away with "smooching" when the kids aren't looking! ;-) Also, exciting! 

We did wait for "awhile" (months) before we ever kissed. I was willing to give in before he was (on our trip to Utah) and he was upset when I tried to kiss him on my Nan's porch. So, instead of a moonlit night outdoors, under the stars . . . he chose the most romantic timing/setting imaginable. We were in my parents basement, surrounded by John, Beth, Melinda, and probably Levi -- all watching Jurassic Park. I guess the dinosaurs made him all mushy, because out of nowhere he leaned in for the smooch! Traitor! I was not interested in our first smooch being in front of an audience . . . so we moved it upstairs, for a proper first kiss. ;-) After that, there was no turning back . . . and we never will (quit smooching, that is!) :-) 

I love Charles. That Bella and Edward stuff . . . pansy-lovers. I cannot express in words my love for Charles . . . blushing, lots of blushing. We were made for each other, to be with each other . . . forever.